Ever feel totally and completely overwhelmed when you walk into a bar? I mean, there's a WALL of alcohol in front of you, as well as a bunch of tap handles of beers you can't pronounce and a bartender looking at you. It's all pretty intimidating, I know. But most of us already have a personal preference when it comes to adult beverage time. If you don't or never feel comfortable ordering for yourself, here are some tips to make this experience better.
1) More often than not, there is a board with listed specials, if you've missed it or can't read it, ask the bartender.
2) Don't be ashamed of asking prices, but understand it will be an extra step for your bartender because prices on alcohols change all the time, which means bars may fluctuate their pricing on certain brands.
3) DO NOT by any means, ask them to just "make you something good." That request is just a pain for those of us behind the bar. You see, customers have such different taste preferences that something delicious to me could be disgusting to you. This request just brings on a slew of other questions "do you like fruit drinks? do you mind soda? milk? strong?..." the list just goes on and on. I can make delicious drinks, but I can't read your mind or know what you are craving.
* the ONLY exception to this rule is if there is a specific liquor on sale. If say, Pinnacle Whipped is on special, yes, we can make you something good. But if it's something like a "You-Call-It" special when almost the entire rack in on special, it's far more difficult. Just, stay away from this request.
4) As sort of an add-on to the above rule, if a bartender at another bar made you this "something good" drink and gave it some ridiculous name like a "Tropical Nemo", do not get annoyed with me because I don't know the name of it. Assume you bartender knows just about as much as you do when it comes to mixed drinks.
5) If we are busy, please PLEASE do not resort to any of these things
a) screaming at me
b) leaning on my bar and screaming at me
c) telling other patrons I am not capable of doing my job, in front of me
d) throw something over my bar or in my general vicinity
Some of you may cringe at that list, but all of these things have happened to me more times than I would like to remember. Just remember, we work on Fridays and Saturdays because they are busy and we serve a lot of people meaning we make money. Similarly, you go out on Fridays and Saturdays because it's busy and you can meet people. Have a little patience. I promise you, I am far more inclined to rush a drink for a smiling and courteous customer than I am for a rude one.
6) If the drink tastes weird, there are a lot of variables. Sometimes, our drink guns run out of juice or tonic or soda water. If it tastes weird, explain to me what it is that does not taste good, please don't criticize my ability to pour your vodka tonic.
7) I am not trying to short change your drink by "under pouring". A lot of bars have strict rules regarding correct pouring techniques and sometimes will even make you pay if your bar is out an excessive amount of liquor compared to your nightly sales. Again, we are JUST doing our jobs. The bar down the street might over pour and that is good for them. Then again, the less people I have to kick out because I don't know how much one bartender poured them in that one drink, the better my night goes.
8) Be VERY careful if you choose to start a tab. If we have 100 customers who give us a card during the night, sometimes things can go awry and your tab is higher than you expected. We ARE NOT trying to rip you off. Mistakes happen and you may have brought some crappy friends that added drinks to your tab without throwing you the cash. We didn't add it just for fun.
9) DO NOT ASK ME FOR FREE DRINKS. It is EXTREMELY rare I will ever give you one. The times we will? Your 21st birthday (MAYBE) and if a mistake happens and some extra drink is made. For me, I will almost NEVER give you a free drink, especially if you ask for one. As the shirts at my prior work used to say, "I don't come into your job and ask for free shit." Don't ask.
10) Finally and most importantly: TIP YOUR BARTENDERS. TIP TIP TIP. Regardless of specials or whatever, WE WORK FOR TIPS. And you better believe if you frequent a bar and you are a bad tipper, the bartenders remember and when its busy? Don't expect to get quick service. Sorry to be blunt but, if the person next to you has a better tipping track record, they come first. We have bills too.
Here is some easy terminology for you as a patron:
A "
well drink" is one typically on special and not a name specific drink. It is also known as a house drink. These are drinks like "rum and coke", "vodka tonic", "gin and tonic" etc. Pretty simple. If you order this drink and do not request a specific liquor, you will not receive it. If you want a vodka tonic with Grey Goose, request it. It is not a well.
If you want your drink poured straight from the bottle into a glass, this means it is being served "
neat"
"
Rocks" means it is with ice. "Grey Goose with lemon on the rocks" means a shot of Grey Goose with a lemon on ice. No mix.
"
Up" means chilled, but no ice. A martini is typically served "up"
"
Splash" means I'm going to put a very small amount of something in the drink. If you want Absolut on the rocks with a splash of cranberry, your drink will only have a small amount of cranberry in it. Sometimes I like to add a "splash" within mixed drinks. Like, Absolut APeach with pineapple and a splash of cranberry (yum).
So there are the basics. There will be more updates soon about "classic drinks" and terminology for those. As well as how you can order a classic drink but add an easy twist. Stay tuned and don't forget to tip your bartender!